May I make a confession? I battled with a very bad attitude this weekend. It all began when a lady from church called and asked me for a favor. My first thought was that I shouldn't have answered the phone. I knew who was calling, and I knew that doing favors for this lady always stressed me out. Why? It's ridiculous, really. It's not that the favors are that huge or anything. It's just that they always seem to grow. The one favor turns into a bunch of little favors that require both time and effort on my part. I'm busy. I have a lot to do. Why, oh why, did I answer the phone? (Pathetic, isn't it?)
As the weekend wore on, my hunch was confirmed. Phone call after phone call added to the list of the "favor". In my frustration, I went to the Lord. I prayed for a better attitude. I prayed for strength to get everything accomplished that I needed to get done, including the favor. I poured my heart out to the Lord and explained to Him that I have no idea why I get such a bad attitude around this person. My first thought was that maybe it is due to a personality clash. After all, this lady is outgoing and forthright. I am the exact opposite.
The more I thought about it and prayed over it, the more I began to realize that in a sense, I was on the right track. I have this bad habit of expecting everyone to do things the way I do them. When people don't comply, I get irritated. I'm the type of person who, if I ask someone to do me a favor, I go out of my way to make it as simple as possible for them. I do what I can to help and to accommodate their schedule. Everyone else does not necessarily follow that set of rules, and for some high and mighty reason, I think they should.
This realization was hard because as much as I was trying to place the blame on another for being insensitive, it was, in fact, me who was being insensitive. In my selfishness, I was assuming that the other person was selfish and didn't care if their favor cost me precious time and resources. I realize now that I don't think that's the situation at all. I think I'm just creating problems.
Doesn't life have enough problems? Why do we so often feel the need to orchestrate more? So, what's my point in all of this? First of all, if you have ought against your brother or sister, do everything you can to set it straight. Second, before you accuse someone of wrongdoing, make sure you search your own heart. You may find that the blame belongs to you. And third, don't create problems where there are none. If someone says or does something that can be taken one of two ways, give that person the benefit of the doubt. Don't think the worst of people.
I learned an important lesson this weekend, and I wanted to share it with you so that maybe you could learn from my experience instead of having to face your own experience with it. As I look back at the weekend and read through this post, I am amazed at how childish my behavior was. At the time, it seemed justifiable, but now, it just seems silly. Well, it just goes to show you that sin really does make you stupid!
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