Coming Soon: What Happened To Prince Charming?

Okay, ladies, today's post is for you (though, men, that's not to say that you can't read it too).  This morning, I would like to share with you an excerpt from my newest book, What Happened To Prince Charming:  Understanding What To Do When You No Longer Know the Man You're Married To.  Lord willing, the book will be available for purchase by Valentine's Day, but I felt led to give you a little preview.  I hope you'll enjoy it.

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The Golden Rule can be found in Matthew 7:12 which says: Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. 

There are also several Biblical references to “love thy neighbor as thyself.” When Jesus commanded us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us, He wasn’t saying that that was as far as we should go. He was cautioning us to think about our actions and how we would feel if we were the recipient of those actions. If we did that, the world would certainly be a better, more peaceful place. But the message of the Bible doesn’t stop there. The Golden Rule is a good start, but there’s more.  Philippians 2:3-4 continues the lesson: Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. 

The Golden Rule focuses on what I want, but the Platinum rule follows this advice and goes beyond that. It encourages me not just to do what I want but to love the other person enough to find out how they want to be treated and act accordingly. It involves putting their wants and desires above my own.

Romans 12:10 concurs: Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another; And so does I Corinthians 13:5, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil …

So, you see, both rules are Biblical, and both are necessary if we are to live peaceably one with another. The question remains, how do we know which rule to use at any given time? The answer is fairly simple though I warn you, it is not easy. Get to know your loved one well enough that you’ll know when they want to be treated the same way you want to be treated and when they prefer a different approach, and then act accordingly. When all else fails, remind yourself, “It’s not about me!”

I teach the ladies' Sunday School class at my church, so every Sunday morning, I arrive early to set up for my lesson, and my precious husband, Jason, makes coffee for the ladies. What you must understand is that Jason likes his coffee STRONG. It has been known to get up and walk around all by itself. Okay, maybe not quite, but it is strong stuff!!!! And while some of our ladies enjoy it, most of them would rather have it weaker. So, my husband has adjusted his ratio of coffee to water. Instead of following the Golden Rule and making it the way he would want it to be made, he follows the Platinum Rule and makes it the way the ladies prefer it. And let me tell you, good coffee makes for a happy Sunday School hour!

We hear so much about the Golden Rule, but it's a shame that more marriages aren't built on the Platinum Rule. If they were, they would probably last a lot longer. Allow me to boil it down for you. It's not about what you want. It's about giving your man what he wants. That's what love is all about! God demonstrated that when He sent His Son to die for us. Did He want to watch His Son suffer such agony on the cross? Absolutely not. But He did want to make a way for us to have what we want and what we so desperately need: a Savior.

God loves us enough to give. Let's follow the same example.