I've had a particular song rolling around in my head for the past several days. (Yeah, I know, the fact that I've had a song in my head is not really groundbreaking news, is it?) The song is a fun, mildly upbeat tune from one of my favorite Southern Gospel groups, The Booth Brothers. The key line of the song that is determined to play over and over in my mind is "Even if I could, I wouldn't change a thing."
The problem is that I'm not sure I am at the place spiritually where I can honestly say that. I'd like to, but I don't think I've quite arrived. Take this morning, for example. If I could, I would have prevented the power from going out. I also would have boosted the speed on both my tablet and computer that have evidently decided to take the day off (or at least work at half pace). I would remove the incessant dull ache in my shoulder and the pinching pain in my lower back. I would rid my poor pups of every ailment, such as arthritis, skin conditions and fatty tumors. If my dear husband had to work a job outside the home, I would ensure that it was a job that he loved, doing things that combined his talents and interests. Oh, and I would certainly make sure there was enough money in the bank to cover all the upcoming bills. And while we're at it, how about I knock off a few pounds? Ah, yes, much better! And that's just the things I would change this morning. . . if I could.
Each time I catch myself humming the merry, little tune, I stop myself and think about what I'm saying. Can I honestly sing this song? Do I mean what I'm saying, or am I just singing without a thought of what's coming out of my mouth? Typically, I stop singing and try to get my mind to focus on something that I can honestly say. But the crazy song insists on coming back to my mind time and time again, making me wonder if there's something here that God is trying to teach me.
Obviously, He longs for me to be at a place where I trust every decision He has made with my life to the degree that I can honestly say, "Even if I could, I wouldn't change a thing." But even though I'm not at that point yet, there is still much to ruminate on. Let's say that God hands me a magic wand and allows me to change all the things that I want to change. Then what? Would I be happier or healthier? Would I be more or less spiritual? Would I be the same person I am today, or would those changes impact my life in ways that I could never imagine, and not necessarily for the good? And where would I be in my relationship with God if I never needed to depend on Him or have faith in Him because I was the one with all the power?
You know, the more I think about it, the closer I come to the point where I can honestly say, "No, I wouldn't change a thing." I'm certain that if God would reveal His complete master plan for my life, I would be able to say it without pause. But since I can't see the whole plan, I have to trust that everything in my life is right where God wants and needs it to be. Each unpleasant factor that I would gladly change is part of His master plan and plays an important role in making me who God wants me to be.
So I wonder, if you could, would you change anything about yourself or your circumstances? Or are you at the place where you can boldly and honestly state, "Even if I could, I wouldn't change a thing"?
If I must needs glory, I will glory of the things which concern mine infirmities. - II Corinthians 11:30
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