Friday, September 17, 2010
When I Am Weak
Something has happened to me. I used to be a very disciplined person. If I set my mind to it, I could say "No" to any food and "Yes" to any exercise. But somewhere along the way, I've lost that discipline. Sometimes I'll find myself forsaking my work in favor of sitting on the couch and reading a good book. Other times I'll neglect my housework because I'm too busy chatting on Facebook. But the worst problem is when it comes to my fitness plan. . .or lack thereof.
I've threatened myself. I've motivated myself. I've even bribed myself, but I just can't seem to find the discipline to stick with my fitness plan. It's not hard. It's not demanding. It's not time-consuming. I just don't want to do it.
Yesterday as I was standing in the grocery store line, I actually had a fight with myself over a candy bar. One side of me was saying, "You need this. You want this. You deserve this. Think how yummy it will taste and how good it will make you feel." The reply from my sensible side was, "No you don't need it. No, you don't want it. No, you don't deserve it. It may taste good, but you'll feel guilty as soon as you eat it, and you'll have to work that much harder to lose the weight you want to lose." The problem with this was that I was actually speaking out loud. I only realized this when people started looking at me.
So what did I do? I caved in. I bought the candy bar. I am happy to say, though, that I later talked myself out of it and gave the candy bar to my husband. He enjoyed it (after all, he's not trying to lose weight). My conclusion: I'M WEAK!!!!!!! I have no will-power left. This is not a good thing. However, I was encouraged when I did my Bible reading this morning.
Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. - I Cor. 1:25
This verse reminds me that even on His worst day (if He has bad days), God is wiser and stronger than I could ever be. When I don't have the strength to stand, He will hold me up. When I don't have the courage to face the obstacles ahead, He will give me the courage I need. When I don't have the will-power to say "No" to caffeine and sweets, He will strengthen me. I can do this if I will remember that I have to answer to Him. If I will let Him be my strength and discipline, I can't fail.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go make some brownies. Calm down, they're not for me! (Even if they were, I have those calories I saved up from not eating the candy bar yesterday. Remember?)